


Martyr

by SwirlyKitty



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Other Additional Tags to be Added Later Because I Suck At Tagging, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2017-12-31 09:21:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwirlyKitty/pseuds/SwirlyKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasha finally returns after the events of Chapter 50.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back Into The Fold

It’s felt like forever since I’ve seen my friends, but in reality, it’s just been a few days. After finding my father and the rest of the Dauper village, I had to get them someplace safe before I could even think about returning to the Scouting Legion. Luckily, I got my people to Wall Sina with little trouble and was able to get back to Headquarters soon after.

I couldn’t deny the fact that I was worried. The wall was breached and my friends and comrades were out there. As I made my way back to Headquarters, I noticed there were fewer horses in the stables. That could’ve meant anything, but my mind only assumed the worst.

When I entered the building, I ran into Squad Leader Hanji, who had burn marks all over face and arms.

“Hanji? W-what happened to you?” I asked. I tried to hide the shock from my voice, but was unsuccessful.

“Hey, Sasha.” She said weakly. “I’m glad you’re back in one piece. These are my battle wounds from a few days ago.”

“Battle wounds?”

“Oh, right! Sorry, I forgot you were MIA. We went head to head with the Colossal and Armored Titans.” She said with a slight smile, but her eyes were somewhat dull.

“Is everybody okay? Are my friends-”

“Yeah, yeah. Everybody’s fine! We lost quite a few people, but your friends are safe. Most of them are in the recreational room. They’re worried about you, so go on and see them.” Hanji said as she shooed me.

“Thanks, and get well soon!” I yelled as I ran down the hallway.

I was so happy to hear that my friends were alive and well. After going through three years of Hell, I basically considered them to be family. All of the struggles we endured made us stronger physically, but also mentally. It brought us closer together.

I opened the door to the recreational room swiftly and skipped inside.

“Guys!” I sang.

They all turned to look in my direction and their eyes went wide as their jaws dropped. The look on their faces was enough to make my heart melt.

“Sasha! I knew you were alive!” Connie yelled as he pulled me into a tight hug. He had a few bruises on his hands and arms.

“We were worried about you.” Armin said as he joined in on the hug. He only had a couple of long scratches on his hands. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I looked over to see Jean with bandages wrapped around his head and Mikasa who looked a little out of it. “Are… Are you guys okay? What happened? Did you ever figure out where the breach was?”

“We’re fine.” Mikasa said as she slowly stood and walked over to hug me. I noticed that she winced when she started to move. “Jean and I got tossed around a little, but it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah, she’s right. Other than having a major headache, I’m feeling pretty good. But it turns out that Wall Rose didn’t have a single dent in it.” Jean sneered.

“Eh? But there were titans inside! How could- You know what, I’m not even going to question it.” I was relieved to know they were okay, but I noticed that a few people were missing. “Say, where’s everybody else?”

“Historia and Eren are talking to Commander Erwin at the moment. He wanted to ask them about everything they knew.” Armin replied.

“Historia? Who’s that?”

“Oh, right! It turns out that Krista’s real name is Historia Reiss and she’s actually a member of an important Wall Cult family. She ran away and changed her name, but she still hasn’t told us why…” Armin trailed off.

“Okay, I guess a lot has happened over these last few days. Where are Bertholdt, Reiner, and Ymir?”

Their faces instantly went from happy to remorseful. I felt a knot grow in my stomach and throat. There was no way… They couldn’t be dead…

“Sasha, maybe you should sit down-” Connie started.

“No. Just- Just tell me how they died.” I said while trying to stop my voice from shaking.

“They aren’t dead! Well, at least I don’t think they are…” Armin trailed off.

“Then where are they? Why aren’t they here?” I was starting to get frustrated with the lack of an answer. I looked to Jean, knowing he was never the type to hold his tongue, but when our eyes locked, his brows furrowed and he looked down at the floor.

“Did you abandon them? Did you just leave them out there?” I was officially pissed off.

“They’re traitors.” Mikasa said bluntly.

“What did you say?” I asked after a few seconds. I needed her to repeat it because I knew she didn’t just say that they were traitors…

“Reiner is the Armored Titan, Bertholdt is the Colossal Titan, and Ymir is also a titan-shifter who decided to help them.” She said while looking me straight in the eyes. “They’re traitors.”

They all looked at me, waiting for my reaction. The only thing I could do was laugh. I laughed hard and long, clutching my stomach and bending over. “Mikasa, you’re so funny! But seriously, where are they?”

Mikasa stepped in front of me and I stood up straight. We were now face to face and she was glaring at me with those cold, dark eyes. It was one of those _‘I feel your pain, but this is serious’_ glares. “Sasha, I’m serious. They’re the reason so many have died. They’re not your friends or your comrades. They’re a plague on humanity.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I shook my head and backed away from her. She was lying. She had to be. But then Connie and Armin placed a hand on each of my shoulders and nodded. I felt my heart break. I placed my hand on my left chest and sat down on the bench, Connie and Armin followed suit, sitting on my left and right.

I just didn’t understand. No, I refused to understand. How could they be traitors? None of them ever gave off a malicious vibe. They were some of the best people I had ever had the pleasure of knowing…

Ymir: She had a strong personality, but her heart was always in the right place. She was one of my closest friends during our trainee years. She helped me realize that I didn’t need to change myself for others to accept me.

Reiner: Out of everybody in our division, I trusted him the most. Whenever you had a problem, you could always empty your heart out to him. If it weren’t for him, I would have never discovered my newfound confidence after I returned from the 57th Expedition, broken and ready to give up. He was like a big brother to us and we all looked up to him.

Bertholdt: He was the sweetest guy I knew. We used to spend hours talking about the things we missed most about our home villages. We’d listen to Armin talk about the mysteries of the world beyond the walls, and Bertholdt promised to take me there someday.

Was everything they had ever said to us a lie? Was everything that he had ever said to me a lie? No. Hell no. I wasn’t going to start thinking like that. I needed to hear them say it for themselves. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding.

I was pulled back to reality when Eren stormed into the room. He had a few cuts and bruises, but he didn’t look like he’d just been through Hell.

“Sasha!” He said with a smile. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Ditto.” It was the only thing I could say. After hearing something so bizarre, I needed to gather my thoughts.

“So, what did the Commander say?” Jean asked.

“Commander Erwin wants us ready by tomorrow. We’re going to pursue Reiner, Bertholdt, and Ymir.” Eren said with his normal glare.

“What!? Why so soon?” Connie yelled.

“Is he crazy? We’ve only been back here for a few hours!” Jean retorted.

“We need to rest. He needs to rest! He can’t possibly be ready to head back out so soon. And what about Captain Levi? His ankle has only gotten worse. There’s no way he can walk on it.” Mikasa added.

“It doesn’t matter.” Armin said as he stood up from his seat and started to pace. “Commander Erwin knows that if we don’t go after them now, they’ll come after us later. And they won’t be alone this time.”

“But they can’t possibly be out there still, right?” Connie asked. He seemed worried.

“They might be. And even if they aren’t, they couldn’t have gotten far.” Armin replied.

“Right. We should be able to track them with no problem.” Eren added.

 Jean sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Well, this is the job we chose. I guess we just have to suck it up and follow orders.”

Armin looked over at me with questioning eyes. I tried not to meet his gaze, but the longer I avoided it, the more uncomfortable I felt. Eventually I gave in.

“Are you feeling up to it, Sasha?” He asked. Everyone’s eyes were now on me.

“Why wouldn’t she be up to it? You’re fine, right Sasha?” Eren looked between the two of us with a puzzled expression.

“I’m fine. Just let it go, Armin.” I knew what he was implying, but I really didn’t want to get into it.

“Let what go? What are you two-” Connie started, but was interrupted when we heard the bell ringing.

The only times the bell ever rang were if the King was traveling through town, the Scouting Legion was coming back, or if there was an attack. I may not have been the sharpest blade in the bunch, but even I knew what the bell was signaling.


	2. War

After we had gotten our gear on, we headed to the Karanese District. We had lost a lot of people, and some were way too hurt to even move, so only 250 members of the Scouting Legion and Garrison were heading toward Karanese. To help lower the possible death toll from our upcoming confrontation, medics were brought along and were to assist the wounded at the inner gate of the district.

On the way there, Squad Leader Hanji broke us up into teams of five. My team contained Jean, Armin, myself, Connie, and Historia, with Jean as our leader. I always acknowledged Jean’s leadership qualities, so I was perfectly fine with that. Mikasa had her own squad that contained her, Eren, and three other people who graduated from the 104th with us.

I wasn’t expecting a festival to be taking place when we got there, but I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to see Reiner and Bertholdt, who were fully equipped in 3DMG, and what seemed to be almost 100 other people standing only meters away from us.

Historia frantically looked at the horde of shifters. “Where’s Ymir?” She yelled. “Reiner, where is she!?”

Reiner slowly stepped closer. He didn’t look like the Reiner I knew. His eyes were cold and his usual warm smile was stretched into a vengeful frown. “She’s gone and it’s all thanks to your friend over there.” Reiner said as he pointed to Eren.

“Ymir’s dead?” Historia’s sweet and innocent face contorted into a devilish scowl. “You… You… I swear I’ll fucking kill you!”

Reiner, and everyone else for that matter, looked startled by Historia’s sudden change in character, but that quickly changed as he chuckled deeply. “Well, there you have it! You wanted a war, Eren, and now you’ve got one.” He yelled in a fierce tone. “You have your precious comrades, but we have a few of our own.” With that, he raised his hand, signaling for his comrades to slice, bite, and stab their hands and legs. Within seconds, we were face-to-face with a titan-shifter army.

“Prepare for battle! Do not be intimidated!” Squad Leader Hanji yelled. With Commander Erwin being crippled, she was the next in line to lead, although she was still recovering herself. “These things may be intelligent, but they only know what the traitors have told them! We have a chance!” She drew her blades. “Squad Leaders, lead your teams to victory!” She then maneuvered her way behind the shifter army, with her team closely behind her.

“Let’s head for the shifters on the far right!” Jean shouted as he prepared to maneuver toward them. Luckily, Hanji was right. These shifters knew close to nothing about our fighting styles. But then again, it was strange because they didn’t really seem to be putting up much of a fight.

 “Stay in formation! If we stick together, they can’t stop us!” Jean said. We took down two of them with ease. With Armin’s tactics and Jean’s leadership, we were unstoppable.

Things were going smoothly, until I heard Connie yell. When I turned around, he was in the grasps of a five-meter class female titan shifter.

“Connie!” My heart sank as I called his name. I knew we were supposed to stay in formation, but there was no way in hell that I was going to let my best friend get killed. I maneuvered my way over towards them, fully intending to demolish the bitch who thought messing with Connie was a good idea, but I stopped in my tracks when Bertholdt landed by her feet.

“No!” He yelled to the titan shifter. “I told you why we’re here!” The shifter scowled at Connie, but dropped him before running off in the opposite direction. When she was gone, Bertholdt looked at me, then went over to Connie and offered him a hand, which he accepted.

“Thanks.” Connie said as he stood up. He winced when he put pressure on his ankle.

“Are you alright?” Bertholdt and I asked simultaneously.

“I think I sprained my ankle, but I’ll be fine.”

Bertholdt and I both took one of Connie’s arms and draped it over our shoulders. We hobbled over to an empty one-story house and took off our maneuver gear and sat it by a table near the window. We managed to find plenty of food and water in the kitchen and a room with a semi-decent bed in it. We laid Connie down and I wrapped his foot and ankle in torn bed sheets. I sat in a chair on the left side of the bed, while Bertholdt sat in a chair that was on the right.

“Why did you do that?” Connie asked.

Bertholdt’s left brow raised and his head tilted slightly.

“I mean, why did you save me from her?” Connie clarified.

Bertholdt’s face softened. “Because we didn’t come here for that. Our people will fight, but they won’t try to kill anyone purposely. Once we get Annie back, we’ll leave. You won’t have to worry about us ever again.”

“What about Eren? Why did you guys want him so badly?”

“I… I can’t say.” He said as he lowered his eyes to his hands that were placed on his lap. “Just know that we never wanted any of this to happen.”

“Connie, that’s enough with the questions. You need to rest.” I said as I patted his head.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved dismissively.

Then I looked at Bertholdt. When his eyes met mine, I nodded my head in the direction of the door and we both stepped out of the room and into the hallway. I closed the door behind us and we walked a few yards away from the door so we wouldn’t disturb Connie’s rest before I started to speak.

I folded my arms and turned to face him when we were far enough from the room. “What does ‘ _You won’t have to worry about us ever again_ ’ mean? Are you just going to leave and never look back?” I asked.

“How could we even think about staying here? You know what we’ve done.” He replied while looking at his feet.

“That’s exactly the point!” I said while stepping closer to him. “You’ve done bad things, but you’ve done good things, too!”

He looked at me with a puzzled expression and I couldn’t help but smile. “Remember when Armin hit puberty? You were the one that helped him deal with it. And remember when Mikasa lost her scarf? You were the only one who helped her search for it during the middle of the night.”

As the memories registered, Bertholdt smiled meekly. “Those were good times.” But suddenly, the smile was replaced with sadness and his eyes welled with tears. “But the good doesn’t outweigh the bad. Other than you and Connie, nobody else feels that way.”

I couldn’t tell him that he was wrong because I knew he was telling the truth. Even the sweet and forgiving Historia was now promising to end their lives. I pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back to help soothe his sadness. “What about our dream? You promised to take me to the world outside the walls, remember?” As he wrapped his arms around me, I squeezed him tighter. “You’re not going anywhere. I won’t let you.”

I felt something wet hit my cheek. When I looked up, I saw that the tears had escaped Bertholdt’s eyes. I wiped the trails they left on his face with my thumb and held his face in my hands. Without thinking, I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. He tensed up instantly, but he didn’t pull away. As my left hand made its way into his rugged ebony hair, he relaxed into my touch. His hands slid down my back until they were at my waist, pulling me closer to him.

Our lips moved in sync and were gradually picking up speed as they went. I felt Bertholdt’s tongue slide across my lower lip and found myself welcoming it without a second thought. As our mouths continued their lusty battle, Bertholdt pushed me against the hallway wall roughly. I moaned into the kiss and grinded my hips into his, begging for him to go further.

Then, without warning, he pulled away from me. Before I even realized that we were no longer connected, he swiftly walked over to the front exit and grabbed his 3DMG. “I have to go.” He said while opening the door. Before he left, he turned his head slightly and said “Please… Stay safe.”

I was left there; flushed, confused, and breathless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so Ch. 51 came out like two weeks ago and it was AMAZING!!!! But I was so sure that we were going to get Sasha's reaction to Reiner, Bertl, and Ymir being titan-shifters :'(
> 
> Either way, I'm gonna continue with this little story of mine until the very end, even though it's inaccurate as hell xD


	3. Camaraderie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are made and feelings are shown. And there's a little hostility between Team Kirschstein.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so bad at making chapter names omg. A friend of mine recommended it and I said "Eh, that's not too bad." Please don't laugh at me T_T
> 
> ALSO, I just realized that I haven't added a new chapter since November. Sorry for the inconsistency, but final exams were a bitch. I'll do better, I promise :)

After I snapped out of my jumbled state of mind, I walked back to the bedroom. It had been an hour since the fighting started and I needed to get back out there, but not before checking on Connie.

“Connie, are you still awake?” I asked quietly as I inched my head into the room.

“Yeah. I won’t be getting any sleep. My ankle feels like a hammer getting hit with a nail.” He said with slight grin.

“Don’t you mean a nail being hit with a hammer?”

“Don’t be silly. I said it right!” He snapped back.

“I guess you’re right. Who am I to question a genius like you?” I tried to hold back the sarcasm. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Be careful out there. And thanks for the help. Tell the same to Bert, will ya?”

“Okay.” With a short wave, I made my way to the front of the house and reequipped my maneuver gear before leaving to find my comrades.

 

I found them almost immediately. They were standing on a rooftop near the inner Karanese gate. Historia was sitting with her head hanging between her knees, Armin was kneeling beside her as he patted her shoulder, and Jean was pacing back and forth with his fist against his mouth. I called out to them and the look on their faces when they saw me warmed my heart.

“Thank goodness you’re alright.” Historia said as she stood up and pulled me into a quick hug.

“Where the hell were you?” Jean asked. “Do you know how worried we’ve been?”

“I went after Connie.”

“Where is Connie?” Armin asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

“Don’t worry, he’s fine.” I said with a smile and all the tension and anxiety in the air suddenly faded. “When one of the shifters dropped him, he landed on his ankle. He’s in one of the houses near the center of the district.”

“Dropped him? Why would a shifter drop him?” Jean questioned.

“Because… Because Bertholdt told her not to hurt him.” I mumbled.

“What!?” They all yelled in unison.

“He said that hurting people isn’t their objective. They just want Annie back.”

“You actually talked to him!?” Jean was fuming.

“Of course! He’s our friend!”

“Well, he sure fooled me…” Historia said maliciously. It was so unlike her, but I understood why she felt that way.

“If you all would just listen to them, I’m sure we could work something-”

“No. Fuck that. The only thing I plan on listening to is the sound of Reiner and Bertholdt’s heads rolling after I slice them off.” Jean retorted as he pulled his blades out and walked toward the edge of the roof. “Now let’s go find those bastards.”

“No!” I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “I won’t let you hurt him!” Jean and Historia stared at me with confused faces, but Armin- that clever little fellow- saw straight through me.

My feelings for Bertholdt developed about two years ago, back when we were still trainees. I was sure that I was being discrete, but Armin pulled me aside one day while we were all heading to the mess hall.

“ _Sasha, do you like Bertholdt?_ ”

I was so shocked to hear him boldly accuse me that I turned bright red and struggled to make a complete sentence. “ _What? How would you… who… What makes you think…? Why are you asking me this!?_ ”

Armin giggled and patted my shoulder. “ _Because it’s obvious. Well, to me at least. But don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me_.”

“Did… Did something happen between you two?” His Armin’s voice snapped me out of my memories.

I just shook my head and looked off to the side. I thought that if I tried to deny it verbally, I would spill the beans. But as I felt my face heat up, I knew I had done just that.

“Sasha…” Armin sighed. He sounded disappointed, like how a mother sounds when her child is kicked out of the trainee corps.

“I can’t help how I feel, Armin!” I snapped at him, but then I realized that he was only looking out for me, and for that I couldn’t possibly upset. “I’m sorry. I just… I love him.”

“Love him!? Are you out of your mind!?” Historia yelled as she walked towards me. “He’s a traitor, Sasha! You’re literally sleeping with the enemy!”

“Hey, that’s enough!” Jean said as he pulled her back. “We don’t have time for this.”

I tried to be passive with her, I really did, but she was pushing my buttons. “Are you serious!? How is my love for Bertl any more toxic than your love for Ymir!? She’s just as much as a traitor as him!” I countered.

She pushed away from Jean as soon as she processed what I had said. “Do you really believe that!? Ymir hasn’t killed anyone! She saved so many lives, while Bertholdt only destroyed them!” She marched up to me and scowled with a glare that made her seem eight inches taller. “Don’t you ever compare my love for Ymir to your lust for that colossal asshole!”

Out of all people, I really expected Historia to understand how I felt. The fact that she was trying to belittle me for loving Bertholdt pissed me off. If the sweet, understanding girl that gave everybody a chance was this put off by Reiner and Bertholdt’s actions, then they really didn’t stand a chance.

Before things got out of control, I backed away from her. “I’m done talking. You telling me that he’s a traitor won’t change anything. I love him and I always will.”

Historia’s faced softened after that and she gasped. “Sasha, I’m so sorry. I’m taking my anger for them out on you and that’s not fair.” She grabbed one of my hands and squeezed it tightly. “Please forgive me. I had no right to…”

“It’s alright. I understand.” I pulled her into a hug and rested my chin on her head. “I just wish we didn’t have to fight each other.”

“Sasha, you said that the shifters aren’t planning on killing us?” Armin asked.

“Right.” I confirmed as I released Historia. “And based on the way he was acting, I get the feeling that they are being forced to do all of this.”

Armin started to pace back and forth as he twiddled his fingers. “That makes perfect sense. When we were fighting them, they never really tried to hurt us. They just pushed us away, even if we did worse to them.”

“If that’s true, then maybe we should listen to what they have to say.” Historia added. “And who knows? Maybe they’ll cooperate and tell us everything we want to know.”

“Exactly!” Armin exclaimed. “If we give them Annie, and if they really are being forced to do this, we could offer our help. And if they accept, not only will we have gained knowledge about this whole thing, we could actually get rid of the bigger threat. And if we succeed, we could all live together in peace!”

“I still hate their guts, but even I know you have incredibly sharp instincts, Sasha.” Jean muttered. “I’m willing to hear them out.”

“But now that I think about it, we may be the only ones who are willing to listen.” Armin’s excitement quickly shifted into seriousness. “But if we can convince Hanji and Eren, then maybe the rest will follow. It’s a long shot, but it’s a gamble that we’re going to have to make.”

“Alright, let’s split up then.” Jean said. “Armin, you go find Eren. You’re the only one who can convince him and Mikasa. Historia, you and I are going to tell Hanji of our plan. Sasha, you go and make sure Bertholdt and Reiner are up for it. We’ll meet back here near the inner gate in about an hour. That should be enough time for Eren’s small mind to grasp the situation.”

“You got it, boss.” Armin saluted before he maneuvered toward the outer gate.

“See you guys in a bit.” I said before heading out right after him. As I maneuvered toward the center of the district, I couldn’t help the uneasiness that spread through me. What if Reiner and Bert were on two different pages when it came to their priorities? What if Hanji didn’t agree with our plan? What if all Hell broke loose as soon as we managed to get both groups together? I wanted to stay positive, but my gut was telling me to stop being so naïve. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter all together, but hey, that's life. This chapter was supposed to be longer too, but I'm making some last minute decisions about the next part. I'm so indecisive...

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't really ship Sasha and Bertholdt (Springles and ReiBert FTW) until I saw this really adorable picture of them and thought "Wow, they actually look great together."
> 
> http://www.deviantart.com/art/Bertl-Sasha-389440606
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading ^_^


End file.
